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我是电大的

1.教授：“一个傻瓜提的问题，10个聪明人也回答不了。”大学生：“难怪我考试总也不及格。”

评论：哥们，把你这份机智用到学习上，肯定会考及格的。


2.老师：“做任何事都要一气呵成，才能让人激赏。”学生：“我懂了，以后我绝不放断断续续的连环屁。”

评论：不知你是在恶心老师，还是恶心自己。


3.果农发现一小孩在偷苹果：小捣蛋，你等着，我要去告诉你爸爸！男孩抬头向树上喊道：爸，下面有人找你。

评论：打虎亲兄弟，上阵父子兵。


4一对男女在公园里面谈情。女:你把眼镜脱下好吗，它弄痛了我的大腿...过了几分钟...女:你把眼镜带上好吗？你亲的是椅子。

评论：这哥们不光视力迟钝，触觉也蛮迟钝的。


5.有一女进性用品商店，要买一支振动棒，老板说：“都在上面，自己选”，女认真选后说：“我就要那个红色的！”老板看了一眼说：“小姐，那是灭火器！”。

评论：狂汗，怪不得来买振动棒，世上不知还有谁能满足她。


6.晚饭后，母亲和女儿一块儿洗碗盘，父亲和儿子在客厅里看电视。突然，厨房里传来打破盘子的响声，然后一片沉寂。
儿子望着他父亲说：“一定是妈妈打破的！”
“你怎么知道？”
“她没有骂人。”

评论：家有雌虎，不知这家人平时是怎么过的。


7.大象被蛇咬了，可蛇飞快地钻进地洞里，大象很郁闷，心想：等到天黑，小样，看你出来不！
这时洞里钻出一蚯蚓，大象咣当一脚踩上去：小子，你爹呢。

评论：乱点鸳鸯谱就是这么产生的。


8.一大学生被敌人抓了，敌人把他绑在了电线杆上，然后问他：说，你是哪里的？不说就电死你！大学生回了敌人一句话，结果被电死了，他说：我是电大的！

评论：错误的时间，错误的地点，说了一句正确的话。


9.福尔摩斯和他的助手一天晚上在山坡上搭起帐篷露营，睡到半夜，福尔摩斯推醒旁边的助手，指着满天的繁星问道：“看到这么多星星你想到了什么？”
助手沉思了半晌，说道：“天空真是无边无际，每颗星星都相当于一个太阳，而我们居住的地球在太阳系里只是很小的一颗行星，我们人类又是显得多么渺小啊！”
“你这个笨蛋，我们的帐篷被偷了！！！”福尔摩斯怒道。

评论：当福尔摩斯的助手，每天要应付任何突发状况。


10.江湖上知道你武功高强，但你不能骄傲，做到人中有剑，剑中有人，人剑合一，做到了这一点，你就不再是人，是剑人！

评论：这哥们也知道，人至贱则无敌。

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一定的时间一定的地点一定的话语就产生特殊的效果。

很平常的一句话在某些特殊场景和时段却能产生很搞笑的效果！哈！我们国家的语言文化牛哦！

1、可惜这大学生虽然思维活跃，却没用到正道上！

2、这学生还能举一反三，也许这当老师的应该适当夸奖下！

3、这父子真是绝了，偷苹果也一起！

4、这哥们是不是上千度得近视啊！太夸张了！

5、可惜了，这老板应该趁机狠狠的赚一笔的！

6、看来这做母亲的还真是很少自省啊！

7、眼见不一定为实，可怜的蚯蚓当了替罪羊！

8、其实也好，不管说没说都没有好结果！

9、答非所问，关系到自身利益的答案才是趋向正确的！

10、这个是个老段子了，不过还是蛮经典的！

有些笑话自己看笑不出来 几个人凑在一起就好笑了。
有时候生活中某个特定瞬间也超级搞笑 可是事后就不觉得了

电大的这个比较老了，我在大学的时候就看到过了。
大象和蚯蚓的那个比较好笑，哈哈