查看完整版本: 自己收藏的9个笑话，请大家支持

自己收藏的9个笑话，请大家支持

1.蚂蚁和大象结婚不久，大象就死了。
蚂蚁一边埋大象，一边痛哭：“亲爱的，你怎么这么早去了，我这辈子不干别的，就埋你了！”

评论：笑点在于蚂蚁和大象结婚，这两者体型上的差别因为大象提前死亡而被凸显了

2.某天考生物，其中有一题是看鸟的腿猜出鸟的名字。
某生实在不懂，生气地把卷子一撕准备离开考场。
监考老师很生气，于是问他：“你是哪班的，叫什么名字？”
某生把裤腿一掀，说：“你猜啊你猜啊。”

评论：以牙还牙，这学生真是学以致用啊

3.某教授在田间授课：“科学研究要不怕脏……”
然后他蹲下来，用手指戳了一下地上的牛粪，然后把手指放到嘴里舔净。
一同学忙说：“我不怕脏……”然后也用手指戳了一下地上的牛粪放到嘴里舔净。
教授：“另外还要善于观察，我刚才是用中指戳粪，但舔的是食指……”

评论：这教授的教学方法太狠了，我想这下学生们一定对他教导的要细心观察刻在心里了

4.一对夫妇避孕失败后生了一个小男孩，孩子一生出来就紧握拳头，一直笑个不停。
护士把他的拳头一掰开，发现里面有一把避孕药，接着小男孩开口说话了：“你们两个想弄死我，没那么容易，哈哈哈哈……”

评论：看上去很诡异，不过这笑话的笑点就在于作者对婴儿的想象型描述

5.一小朋友问一富翁：先生你为啥那么有钱呢？富翁说：小的时候我跟你一样什么也没有，
爸爸给我一个苹果,于是我就把那个苹果卖了,用赚到的钱再买两个苹果，然后再卖了买四个苹果。小朋友若有所思,说：先生我好像懂了。
富翁先生说：你懂你妹啊，后来我爹死了，我继承了他所有的遗产。”

评论：笑点在于富翁对大众励志的常规成功模式的讽刺

6.一次去参加补考。
在半路碰到一个同学他问：“挂了几科？”
我说：“两科，你呢？”
他说：“一科没挂。”
我说：“厉害！”
后来去补考第二科，发现他从考场出来。
我问：“你不是说一科没挂吗？”
他说：“是呀，就一科没挂，其他的全挂了……”

评论：笑点在对关键词“一科”的理解，有时候一词的反差可谓天壤之别

7.本科生和硕士、博士写“如何做红烧肉
本科生说把肉放锅里加些东西煮；
研究生说这个是不行的，要写出多少肉，多少其他的佐料，怎么煮，煮多长时间；
过了一个月，博士出了一本书，书名叫“如何做红烧肉”，打开目录，“第一章， 如何养猪”。

评论：怎么说呢，这个笑话应该是对高学历的理论家的讽刺

8.昨天收到一条QQ请求好友的信息：“我是你妈！”我当即回了句“我是你爹”给拒绝了，然后我就接到我妈电话说：“加我，快！”

评论：笑点在，有时候觉得不是真实的事，确是真的

9.一个很胖的女人上了公交车，找不到座位，只能拉着车上的拉环。
不料，司机一个急刹车，胖女人把拉环拉断了，并一下子扑到司机面前，司机看着她和她手上的拉环，没好气地说：“集满三个，送司机签名照一张！”

评论：笑点在于司机的又急又气，但是因为在开车，又不能太发作，而司机的幽默以气话的形式表达出来时也确实难得

[[i] 本帖最后由 jerrycoho 于 2011-7-13 13:32 编辑 [/i]]

1、你确定先死的是大象啊，我觉得不管是从哪个角度看，都必须是蚂蚁先死，淹死，压死，各种死，大象一天要换n个老婆
2、应试教育害人啊，做老师的能不要这么变态吗
3、这老师有学问，不错，这下该记得细心了吧，屎的教训啊
4、这绝对是猛将，发育的真快，一天工夫都从受精卵变成人了
5、这尼玛够狠，还是老爸是李刚好啊，其他的都是浮云
6、确实是一科没挂，不知道总共考了几科
7、为什么是讽刺呢，不是很系统嘛，很博学吗，养猪也是很有学问的
8、干嘛不相信人呢，不要老是带着怀疑的眼光看世界
9、这师傅心理素质过硬，不给领导开车屈才了

看完第一个就想问楼主一个问题：这是你收藏十年的笑话吧？

楼主，是我火星还是你火星。。。楼上的楼上很强大。论坛需要你们。:excellence :excellence

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1、老段子了，如果有笑点的话，是一种对比的巨大反差和荒唐不经
2、还是老段子，亮点在于学生能突破思维限制，给这种无用教育一种无情嘲讽
3、还是老段子，中学课本上有这样的描述，不多评论
4、楼主点评中“诡异”二字用的好，笑话的突破在于过去和将来的联系
5、这个笑话第一次听时没听明白，后来多听了几次才明白，有时候再努力也不如有个好爹
6、这个笑话以前倒是没听过，天朝词汇很强大，一科既是一个科也是每科，当然考得越多越抑郁了
7、有天朝特色的好笑话，虽然笑点一般，但是现实讽刺性很强，不过学历高了毕竟是个好事
8、相信十个色友中九个会拒绝吧？哈哈，网络中哪能那么轻易相信一句话呢？
9、很早前听过，当时就佩服司机的反应和诙谐，生活中能成为这样的人，身边的人一定快乐不少！

楼主的笑话总体来说很不错，我也好久潜水没冒泡了，今天用心回复完，希望楼主继续加油，为大家奉献更多的精品笑话，第二颗红心献上了！

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这也叫收藏 真服了楼主了 不过发帖也不容易 还是要支持下的。 不过那个教授吃牛粪的笑话到时头一回听  谢谢啊

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*** 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽 ***

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